Four ways to tell if you are trusted (as a leader)

It's almost a certainty that you want to be trusted as a leader. And not just from your team's perspective; you'd also like to be trusted by your peers, your boss and the many others you work with/associate with as well.

Now, we all know that trust—for the most part—is earned. This understanding motivates us to function in ways we're told will help improve trust. Many of my executive clients refer to concerted efforts they're making to be more available/approachable; to show more support for team members; to be more respectful of diverse ideas and perspectives; to ensure that words and actions match; and, of course, to be more transparent.

While these attempts are genuine (and honorable), the irony is we're not—as leaders—the ones who determine whether anything we're saying or doing is having the desired impact. That determination is made solely by the people who we're hoping to positively influence. What if how you're saying something (e.g., tone; cadence), or your eye contact, or your body language, or various other incongruencies are leaving mixed messages that don't instill trust? How would you know?

High Value Activity (HVA) Action Steps

Here are a few HVA TIPS that will help you determine if you're trusted as a leader:

• The Type of Information They're Willing to Share with You: I've found that trust can be construed from the type of information people are willing to share with you. Sharing personal information can make people vulnerable and if they're willing to be this open with you then they likely trust you won't abuse that confidence.
• Do People 'Disagree' with You?: If the people on your team always say "yes" you've potentially got a compliance environment — which is not the same as a high-trust environment. When a trust bond exists, people will occasionally (and respectfully) challenge or question or pushback on some of your ideas.
• Is it Easy to Give You Feedback?: If what you receive when you ask for feedback is a steady flow of positive statements — that appear somewhat superficial — you're probably dealing with someone who is unsure about how you will react to critical feedback. When trust is high, you'll notice that people are much more comfortable providing you with an honest and candid evaluation.
• Do People Share Their Failures and Mistakes with You?: When people try to cover up their mistakes and failures, it's a sure sign that a trust bond is missing. If they doubt how you'll react, it's an indication that your attempts to demonstrate tolerance for honest mistakes needs to be bolstered. A simple technique is to share some of your personal failures/mistakes and what you learned from them; this sends a strong signal to your team that the tolerance is real.